He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
