Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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