If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
how does that bad decision feel?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
