You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
