Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
