Are we in a gay sports bar?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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