i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
