I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
