Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
