..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
