maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
