I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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