We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
