PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
