I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
