dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
