Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just cropdusted the office
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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