i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
