im drinking this country out of the recession.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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