butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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