I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
