Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
