I'm lost and stupid without you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
