his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
