Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
