We won't sleep together?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
