Will you blow on my dice?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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