so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
