moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize