We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
