I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
