i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
