So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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