I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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