Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
