Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize