hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
