next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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