Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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