Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize