There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
