I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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