wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
