His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
