Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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