TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am naked and annoyed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
