I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
