i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
