I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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