no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
