There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
