I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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