cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Randomize
