Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I cannot find my penis.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
