I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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