So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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