i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
