the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
