I swear she didn't look like that last week.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
