the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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