We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
