i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
