Dual....:-)
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
